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*` my little hideaway
♥
it hurts so fucking bad.
when ashari came with his gf to the house.
its like..
even though ashari changes his gf alot.
but he's always with his gf.
and he's so sweet to his gf.
and then..
when i was in the living room.
with sien.abdul.ashari and his gf.
i felt so empty inside.
like..
they all are so happy together.
it gives me a feeling.
that life is so unfair.
why are all the other brothers so nice.
but him.
it hurts SO FUCKING bad.
i was on the verge to break down in front of them man.
but i controlled myself.
and went up to the room.
right now.
those guys are all so practical.
coming to me.
knowing that ive broken up.
one even said.
if you need sex.
come look for me.
i was like..
what the fuck.
i used to think he was so nice.
and he actually said that.
sigh.
its like..
every fucking minute.
im wondering how is he doing.
subconciously..i was hoping he would realize his mistake.
and say sorry.
but i doubt that would happen.
there's so many others girls around him.
guess my existance just doesnt matter to him anymore.
everyday just passes by so slowly.
though i went to the beach today.
with sien.abdul and andre.
it was fun.
but still.
my heart's still calling out for him.
i dont know why.
it sucks so bad.
im going crazy man.
anyway.
thanks andre for everything.(:
anyway.
its getting late now.
i'll be sleeping with sieny tonight.
i just feel fucking depress when i sleep in his room.
too much memories.
dammit.
when will all these end.
- i still waiting ..
12:39 AM
